Please note:

This page is mostly a collection, not very well-organized, of notes and comments posted on my private blog.  It is serving as storage space rather than an attempt at anything coherent.  The work continues as of August 2007; these notes were collected up to about August of 2005.

Notes from Tau Naamah and contributing bishops in the work
A Preliminary Dream
May 12, 2005 e.v.

This dream featured John N, though in the dream I kept conflating him with John C, not in terms of personality or physical appearance but just the name. I woke up and in my scribbled notes wrote J. C but then crossed it out and wrote N. The person in the dream I feel was N, but I was renaming him or misnaming him in terms of that, if that makes sense. N is an EMT, isn’t he? I think that was a factor in the dream.

We were at some apartment and there was sort of a context of party-like mingling at first, though the gathering was rather small and consisted mostly of women. There was a sort of tent in the living room, maybe like the kind you would make out of sheets when you’re a kid, not really the outdoors type or anything. It was kind of low to the floor, though, you couldn’t stand up inside it. We were lying on our stomachs doing this sort of eye-contact guided meditation/exercise thing, and in this part of the dream we were both wearing glasses, which I noted because it made peripheral vision a little screwy. So it was like you stare at somebody’s face for so long that it starts to look weird, stuff like that, and the sort of eye exercises you do in yoga practice.

This whole thing had a sort of detached quality — it was shaping up to be a sexual dream, but my physiological responses just weren’t like that — it had almost a ritual quality to it, or an experimental quality, kinda lab-like, a performance. We move to a bed and I realize I have an IV that I’ve set up myself, in my right leg, outside mid-calf. Then I’m holding something penis-sized but too cool and smooth to be skin between my thighs and I look down to see something that is certainly a medical/lab/phlebotomy type thing, a plastic pump or container of some sort. My brain went through the words “shunt,” “IV,” “catheter,” “container,” and “reservoir” as I was trying to describe it in my notes on waking. I haven’t looked any of that up or looked at the workings of catheters or IVs yet. Anyway, I see that he’s hit the femoral artery in his thigh with a huge needle and then the blood moves into the reservoir, which is full of clear fluid, so it’s got that sort of pretty flowering effect that happens when you draw a bit of blood up into a syringe before you inject whatever’s in the syringe, you know? I think I made a IV-drug association in the dream too.

I don’t know what’s going to happen next through any of this dream, I’m sort of just going along with it. I realize there’s going to be something akin to a blood transfusion going on, though I didn’t have any clear idea of the mechanics of it or how or where we were “connected.” I was sort of zoned/tranced out getting all this blood and then I realize vaguely that something’s gone wrong and I’ve gotten *too much* blood. John realizes what’s happened (he seems fine, not like he’s lost too much blood) and disconnects the IV and a girl comes to remove my original IV & clean it up, offering me a choice of a sort of medicine/ointment to clean it with and whether to leave the actual “needle” (it’s not a needle, really, but I don’t know how to describe it, a tiny plastic straw maybe) in my leg or just disconnect whatever is connected. Leaving the “needle” in, or the IV accessible, would involve this large metal thing she shows me that is sort of a cross between a fish-hook, which is the first thing that crosses my mind, and the sort of curved needle that you would sew sutures with. I say no, to take it out, and I have this sort of distant — not really panic, but nervous anticipation I guess, again not knowing what’s happening or what’s going to happen next. John calls 911 and I’m lying on the bed and the site of entry into my right leg is swelled up and red and I feel like I’ve ODed, sort of in shock and detached and distantly panicky, or feeling like I ought to be panicky, you know? Then I woke up (6:20 a.m.).

email comments from tausirhasirim

Wow! I worked with C on the points a bit in the first set when he was my prime student. Timing is important here. The weekend James got sick I had given the first points to John N. I had given to C ten years before, and since they were abdominal, I worried when I heard about James that we were having another round of bad ju-ju sympathetic magick. N may know the date he got those points – I don’t. But James certainly knows when he was hospitalized. I’d like to know how that coincides (or not) with your dream. Also, let me be clear, you didn’t *know* the Ns were the two other people doing this Work with me then?

Ah, the “Liquid Sky” effect–the alien saucer being that is a junkie who eats people as they cum for the endorphins.

There is a – precognitive- quality to the dream. Obviously.

The Empowerments are – as others have observed – kind of like having sex – albeit “alien sex” and kind of like – very like – a transfusion. In fact, if one were to take instead of give or receive, it would be vampiric by definition.

Hmm. Totally interesting. Something about not being able to control the influx and outflow of energy. Fish hook – Tzaadi. Magical power astrology.

Consecration
Saturday July 23, slightly after 4 a.m.
Sun in Leo, Venus in Virgo, Merc rx, Moon v/c from just before the consecration until two hours after we retired

I had driven the solid six hours to Athens after working until early afternoon and having the headachey car reservation snafu at the airport in insanely hot weather which made me really cranky. Once the sun went down and it cooled off, I felt better. Had some pain in my left SI joint and in the region of the mid to upper thoracic vertebrae, slightly on the left, all of which is very common for me during long drives, especially ones that involve 75/85 rapidly narrowing to a two-lane bottleneck to negotiate a massive accident that blocked the three left lanes. No trouble finding A & J’s house and arrived close to 2 a.m., tired physically but overall well. I took 10 mg of Loratadine because of the cats.

There had been some reservation about doing the consecration after the drive, but after a couple of hours of talking and relaxing, during which I drank one beer, J got up and said, “we need to make a bishop.” I borrowed a robe of A’s. I was absolutely not expecting the accompanying ceremony and can’t write thoroughly about it, but I think J and A should; it kicked ass and I thought was beautifully written and structured.

I believe I took half a dose of albuterol at some point during the late night/early morning but I can’t remember when exactly.

During the ceremony my eyes kept watering — they felt a little filmy and a little like something was in them. I knelt for the consecration but I’m not going to try to describe the details or the sensations of it, partially because I’ve been trying and can’t, and partially because I don’t think I remember it all. I can say that the sensation that I can best describe for the moment as somewhat like lovingly and deliberately licking a car battery increased rather gradually, which I did not expect, and kept increasing for probably about half an hour.

The next thing I clearly remember was being outside on the front lawn looking up at the moon, which was just waning from full and was framed in my vision between two trees which sort of arched around it in an incomplete circle. I felt like I had to be standing on the earth, and I did some qigong to try to get grounded, but it wasn’t working like it normally works, and I was seeing things that weren’t “there,” like a cat jumping onto the back of a car, a snake in a nearby bush, and moving shadowy things in my peripheral vision. There was a mass of kudzu across the street that I would have sworn was sentient. The visual and physical effects were slighly akin to some I’ve experienced after ingesting low doses of LSD, but the “electrical” feeling had a sort of vibration to it that was totally unfamiliar to me at that level of intensity, though I’ve hit *sort of* similar things in taiji and during initiations and masses.

I went to sleep shortly after 6 a.m., and slept that post-trip sleep, colorful and fragmented and shallow and exhausting and fitful. I woke up at one point to take what I believe was a second dose of albuterol. The fragments of dreams were more like commercials in terms of depth and length, but I scribbled several things I can’t now read, along with “ship/boat,” “wedding,” “symbol,” and “golden.” I had a sense of blockage or something being “stuck” around neck level, and I woke up with a slightly stiff neck, though there was no back pain or joint pain at all. The “blocked” feeling was still there in the morning, and on later reflection, most of the electric or tingling effects did not seem to extend to my head but stopped at my neck.

A and J were telling me later that they had me sit down after the ceremony was closed, and when they told me that I thought I remembered it. I think I also remember standing and looking down at my clothes, but I don’t remember putting them on before I went outside, and I don’t remember going outside.

I will comment on further observances of effects AFTER I post about the points chaud the next afternoon and the stuff leading up to it, because I don’t really know how to tell what is what, and I think at least some effort at making that distinction, if possible, should be made (viz. consecration vs. empowerment of the points).

EDIT: While on the “potential substance influences note,” I should note that last week was the first week in many months when I have not been putting what are essentially pregnancy hormones into my body via prescription (I do the four times a year thing). I remembered this later, because I realized that I had godawful fucking cramps on the drive up but they were all better Saturday morning when I woke up. I really don’t know what significance this might have, but I posted a tightly filtered dream a while back that had blood stuff going on, and some of that had a menstrual blood overtone as well as a drug-overdose overtone, and in recounting the dream it seemed like — for no reason I can pinpoint — that it had something to do with the points chauds. Oddly, it involved someone with whom I have little real-life connection but who I just found out this past weekend is ALSO doing points chauds work.

First, let me say that I had in the past read over some comments/articles about Bertiaux’s points-chauds system and the Voudon Gnostic stuff (though I never had my hands on a copy of that book before), and while I found it interesting, I found it interesting in a Kenneth-Grant-Lovecraftian-hoohah-UFO- with-a-pickled-lizard-on-top-Yuggoth-on-a-hot-tin-roof kind of way. In other words, it was interesting, but I had met people who messed with that kind of stuff before and they had tended to not be the kind of people I wanted to work magick with. They smelled funny, were frequently incoherent, had delusions of grandeur, talked too much about spiders, and spent too much time grooming their unlikely facial hair.

So it was with mingled surprise and interest that I heard of this work starting up again and being undertaken by people I would work with and have worked with. One very long and not-very-unified-theoretically but nevertheless *intriguing* and provocative text file later, I replied with “I’m in. What do I do next?”

You don’t care about all the in-between stuff, and you probably don’t care about the background stuff, but I’ll list the latter briefly because I think I ought to go in and fill in some stuff for myself at least, later.

Background Work and Magickal History

In the group I was in called Dracosanguis, in Montevallo in the early 1990s, we worked with (among a laundry list of other things) Sumerian deities and myths, some stuff about year-cycles that were labeled “lunar” and “sothos” and the like, and various modes of dreamwork and dramatic invocation, heavily tinted with various pedigrees of Cthulhu-mythos type stuff. Our equivalent of an earth banishing pentagram ritual, our sort of all-purpose backwoods death-metal vampire satanist spiritual Ajax, was an invocation of Chaos; our “central element” was Chaos, and we started everything up by invoking it, and shut everything down by banishing it, except the coven leaders were largely illiterate and called it a de-invocation, yet I might muse on the accidental-or-not appropriateness of that last bit later.

Anyway, the point of that is that the recent work I’ve been doing (and I’m referring to the last few years rather than just this past weekend, though this past weekend kicked some stuff up majorly for me, apparently) is that I seem to be returning, in a way, to the beginning. As the Greek whose name I always spell wrong so Christeos can correct me said, you can never step in the same waters twice. You can, however, find yourself returning to a spot and realizing that while there were valid reasons for leaving, you had forgotten some of the valid reasons for taking some of that shit along with you in your backpack.

Part of what I mean is that I am, first and foremost, a wild person. By that I mean that I do better on top of a mountain than in a temple, most of the time, better with dirty feet and wind-tangled hair than with a robe I’m afraid to spill something on, better with herbs and mud and bits of bone stuck under my nails than flowers in my hair, better with my clothes and hair smelling of the woodsmoke of a bonfire than with the delicate perfume of a single incense cone. I don’t just mean the magick I work is more powerful, though it is — I mean I just plain do better. You know? I have had the top of my head blown off during “ceremonial magick” rituals before, stepped outside my body to make room for someone else as a priestess or participant in a temple space, beeen through some absolutely incredible initiations, experienced the most exquisite sweetness and intoxication at Mass – but the moments in my life where all that shit has gone straight to my gut, to my brains, to my cells, and to the part of my mind that isn’t saying “they’re using frankincense because, because, because of my hair the trees of eternity,” have tended overwhelmingly to be the ones where I get my hands dirty, where the wind is blowing and I can feel the earth under my feet and see the sky.

I can see that I’m losing my train of thought. Let me try to regroup.

Anyway, back to this weekend. Post-consecration, I was still trying to sort out what exactly to DO with what I suddenly had. I kept trying on metaphors for size, tweaking them, discarding them, testing out theories. Three things first, then details later:
1. I just about blew myself up in a Kentucky Fried Chicken somewhere in DeKalb county.

2. I walked onto a mountain that was a hell of a lot more than a mountain, and I felt a rush like I hadn’t felt since the old Pea Ridge and Dracosanguis days, when we did all our magick at high spaces under cover of darkness, where the wind fed you all you needed and the earth took away what you wanted to put down, and where the fire lit you up and the blood filled you and the smoke burned your eyes and you could burrow to the center of the earth or fly to the nearest cloud without even half of the effort it took to polish a sword and do a pentagram ritual.

3. Fungi from Yuggoth or not, there’s something going on with these points chauds. That I had some empowered within twelve or fourteen hours of consecration was probably a bit much, and so I’m still trying to sort out what was what, but I’m not hooha-ed out. You, dear reader, may think so, and I am acutely aware of how I currently have two feet in two different places and that one can’t typically live at that intensity for very long, and I am aware of how alternately “yeah so what” and “you are on crack” some of this sounds. Be that as it may. Again I lose my thread.

First things first — almost becoming Extra Crispy myself. Maybe I should make another post- this one is awfully long already.
Empowerment: Set One
July 24, 2005

We were sitting in a KFC/Taco Bell combination that was pretty scary in and of itself, and I was trying to tell TAG, who would only communicate *and ask questions* with nods and gestures while he was eating, about the consecration and after-effects the night before (or earlier that morning, actually). I was trying to answer different questions and make sense of the answers myself, what the implications were. A said something about how she’d felt an almost magnetic pull between her palms before, and asked me if I’d felt the same thing. I tried it, and I could sort of faintly get it, but it would probably not have occurred to me to describe it as magnetic without her suggestion. In other words, it was very faint and while it was certainly “different,” it evidently wasn’t as strong as what she had experienced.

It *was* different though. I started playing with energy and auras and fields and shit as a kid, because I had these hippie parents who had the whole family doing transcendental meditation and yoga during the Self-Realization Fellowship days, and combined with my grandmother’s and great-grandmother’s intense and very effective mantra work in teh form of rosary cycles, my own childhood experiments with deliberately inducing altered consciousness, my cousins’ attempts to “hex” each other in neighborhood games or to pull each other’s “hearts” out and eat them (this shit was pretty scary then, AND now, looking back at it), and some of the truly interesting and eclectic folks my parents hung out with, I knew what that stuff “felt” like, I thought. I knew how to use it, imperfectly but adequately, and I knew how to get it off me when I needed to. I got better at that when I moved to Montevallo and a guy named Mark showed me how to start to “see” it (>;-p), which I could never do before, and which I am still not very good at (this was pre-Dracosanguis). (There was a long, long time when I shut a lot of this stuff down and put up some brick walls, and as I’ll get to in a bit, I seem to have a very hard time NOT going into defense mode when I’m around somebody who can manipulate this stuff.)

Anyway, my point is that I have had my share of buzzes, numbs, tingles, sparks, oceans, waves, rockets, sparklers, nine-volt batteries, and sheer highs and wiggles. I went off the yoga a couple of years ago because of injuries and got on the Taiji and the Chinese part of that strand, and Taiji is helping me a LOT with working some of this out and learning to integrate and manipulate and manage without shutting down or dissociating or striking out, while helping me strengthen my weak physical spots too. I wish my parents had been into this instead of yoga when I was a kid. My life would be different now, lol…

So. And when I was sitting in the KFC, I closed my eyes and started playing with my palms to see if I could feel that magnetic stuff A was talking about.

And I did, ever so slightly. But right on the heels of that, I felt something else. This is not quite like anything I’ve done outside of a very very close relationship before where there are no shields and real trust and generally some good old-fashioned sex magick going on between two (or three, or, er, well, that’s as much as I’ve ever been able to hold together without it falling down or having to go in phases lol) people who are energetically aware and available, that kind of body-sparking thing that happened.

[…]

I am finishing this post after a phone conversation with a brother who asked if there was any element of magnetism or polarity in the energy I was… containing? Channeling? Holding? Moving? dunno… and I started thinking about my earlier (locked for me only) version of this entry, and I realized that what I experienced in the KFC (how fucked up is this!? lmao) was very much like good sex magick, only there was nobody else involved. Er, I’m not getting anywhere with trying to articulate that. I felt “another presence,” not in a sentient, creeping along in your head or sitting over your shoulder or beckoning from the exit kind of way, but a mutually-filling-the-same-skin-at-the-same-time kind of way, in a way where there aren’t two names, and where, as a matter of fact, nobody involved has a name, because it’s all pre-Logos or something. If that’s possible. Anyway, my whole spine lit up. A writes of her impression that my hands working with the energy got so hot, but it was hardly a question of heat, actually. It was electric (and I am, incidentally, a bit paranoid about electricity on the mundane level, jumpy about car batteries and cordless phones in rainstorms and the like) but not actually hot. What happened is my whole body kind of lit up, and while it wasn’t really sexual, that’s the closest thing I can think of to use to describe it the most efficiently to the largest number of people. I have simply never experienced anything like that *in such a mundane setting* before. Never without some elaborate preparation, be it of a ritual variety or simply a long-standing and intense psycho-sexual one. I have never just lit up like that *on accident.* I do VERY LITTLE IN MY LIFE on accident lol… I closed my eyes and saw webs of red tracing my skin and muscles, and sparks of blue, with the faint idea that they traveled in a differnt current or direction, and a sort of vague current where they met in the middle in what I guess would be the region of my solar plexus, though I did not get the feeling I would be accustomed to for such activation at either my heart or solar plexus. It felt really really GOOD, I felt like Amelie getting connected with the world and seeing everyone’s spirits for a split second. It also felt like WAY more than I could deal with in a fucking KFC. So I got up and walked out and went to sit my ass down in the grass, which was in short supply. I had to settle for planting my ass in some sawdust shavings by the “may i please take your order window” of the drive thru part. I played for a bit with the effects of one hand on the dirt, and on the sawdust, and on the pavement, to see what happened. Then I put my hands back together and realized that what I was doing, or working with, didn’t quite play by teh rules I’d become accustomed to.

Then T came out and I tried to get normal, and she said hey, and what are you doing, and I looked down at the ground and saw a dead but very beautiful small green-blue beetle and picked it up and showed it to her. She said, “Ew, what is that,” and I held it in my palm next to my Kephra necklace that she had admired before, and she said “Ooooh….”

On the way to Mt. Arabia she drew me a picture which I like so much I think I might use it as a wall hanging above one of my altars. I have to figure out which, first, though….

Anyway. So onto the mountain.

On approaching the mountain, I got really excited in this sort of kid-way. When I was a kid, my parents used to go off and do their hippie stuff in the woods and I fucking loved it. I would run off down the paths and they would freak out looking for me. I spent a lot of time in the mountains and trails of Tennessee, which I loved because it had AUTUMN unlike Mobile, Alabama, and there was all this shit just happening in the woods and those boring old grown ups never noticed. Probably because they were too stoned and were having their own Intense Experiences ™.

At any rate, this was an Intense Experience ™. Just walking up the mountain. It took me back, on some level, to the Dracosanguis days, and the earlier mom’s-pagan-friend-who-always-invited-us-to-her-bonfires days. This was SACRED SPACE that pre-existed any particular human dedication or consecration or intent. It was space that was sacred before we got there and would remain so after we left, and by we I mean anybody with an opposable thumb who ever went there with more than *this* on their mind.

Anyway, I was hyped, I loved it, and I realized how much I’d missed working in spots like that. I am not knocking any carefully constructed and assembled ritual space I’ve ever been in, but I guess at heart I’m not all that sophisticated, and I prefer stone altars, bonfires, drums, and some nice rocks and shit.

So we get up there and wander around for a while, finding frogs living in secluded hollow, and cacti that shouldn’t bloom in Georgia, and a petrified tooth and some bones and an assload of rocks and some cool puddles and way too much broken glass.

We made our way to a particular rock, which evoked Fungi from Yuggoth visuals from me as the pool of water on it was growing something truly strange, and then the linear stuff sort of falls apart for me. Here is what I know happened, though I can’t promise I have it in the right order.

A did some work on my neck, pendant to our “blockage” convo/exploration, and I noticed that what she was doing felt different from what I expected. A and I go pretty far back, about fifteen years, and while our experiences with and in each other’s energies haven’t always been kind or benevolent or pleasant, they had occasionally been and have been in the recent past, and I (mostly) know what “she” feels like when she’s “in” my energy (at least consciously), and I know what the sort of healing work I’ve been on the receiving end of before feels like, and this wasn’t quite the same. Her hands were so hot touching my neck that I almost flinched, and I got some visuals that are not a common, for me, result of this sort of thing.

I gave T an “airplane ride” in circles on a flat spot until she said that was enough, and I told her I would see her in a little while. I wandered off and found a flat, high spot in the setting sun and did some qigong, noticing that the sun in front of me was sheer overkill in a way in terms of energy but was actually very very nice in another way, in a sort of I-can-jump-off-this-mountain-and-fly-down kind of way.

T came to find me and tell me A said to come back. I did, and came near the rock where the pool was, and where A and J were lying on their backs at angles to TAG. I sat down part out of confusion and part out of thinking I might have, after all, gotten some broken glass stuck in my foot, and I got the glass out of my bleeding foot and tried to suss if it was ok to go up on the rock. Then TAG basically told me to hurry the fuck up, in not those words, so I clambered up there, and on his inquiry indicated the point at the base of my skull for activation, pendant to the experience of having blockage there the night before, as well as further conversation with A about that spot.

Feeling of knife, a kind one but nevertheless a sharp one, going into the back of my head at a speed rivaled only by the ferocity of my grandmother’s electric serrated-edge bread loaf slicer. It was like there was anesthesia on the knife, which for the purposes of this description are TAG’s fingers, and it only hurt for a second and was more like pressure. I felt something move past that block in my neck and I don’t think I could have opened my eyes if I’d tried, though I may have. I believe I was standing at this point. If there were words exchanged after this I don’t recall them. He then activated two points on my neck, and I don’t know which of several they were, but I think it’s pretty clear to anybody within a five-mile and/or lj radius that they tweaked my Vishudda, so I need to look that up (like that is really what I needed lol). Then, he said to someone, I don’t know if it was directed at me, something about this making you feel a little nauseous, and did my solar plexus. At some point I fell down.

I could NOT control my body. My body was trying to dream, or something. It was also trying to ground, and I discovered that the rock (I had been hugging rocks the whole afternoon, lying down on them and soaking up heat like a snake) was not about to act like earth, and that I was actually making this worse by lying on the rock. I then proceeded to try to sit up and managed to get my feet flat with my knees bent, but couldn’t get up. I could hear A and J and TAG talking but I couldn’t slip through what seemed like cracks or fan blades to me, to hit the right frequency to communicate. I finally did, and at some point got some water poured on me, and got sat up, and got leaned against J, and put one hand on the rock trying to get a grip and realizing the rock was acting like an amplifier rather than a ground.

TAG (this must be before the point it’s turning up at) told me I was blocking him and to please put whatever I had put up, back down. I was dismayed, because that was not my intention to fight him at all, and I tried my best to lower my defenses, which I actually don’t know how to do. I mean, I know how to put them up, to consciously and actively put them up, but I don’t know *how* to reverse that process.

I felt really crappy emotionally after I got back to myself, because I felt like I’d caused trouble or something. I was annoyed and embarrassed that a) I’d had to be “Taken care of,” and b) that I might have, through unconsciously resisting, have made the whole thing harder on TAG than it had to be. I really felt like an asshole and I said, apropos of probably nothing, “I’m sorry,” several times.

At some point J made an offering on a natural outcropping of rock that was serving as Legba’s altar. I felt bad that I hadn’t brought any pennies, which is my customary offering to Legba.

I’ll finish this attempt up for the night by saying a few things:

I’m still sort of tripping. I don’t think I’m “seeing things” really anymore, but I’m seeing things lol… it’s more like invisible sparklers than invisible cats at this point, but still…

Sat night I was sitting with J and A and distinctly felt something much larger than a cat climb up onto the bed, one paw at a time.

In Taiji today, I realized that whatever this is works along the same lines as the chi system, but it not actually *the same* thing. You can activate it, work with it, become aware of it, the same way, but it’s to Taiji like really good sex is to masturbation. I can do what I want more quickly and more efficiently with Taiji, but I’d certainly be missing something if I never looked any further.

It’s hard to incorporate ceremonial magick practices with body-movement-meditation work. I’m sure eleven of you will now tell me of your successes, but I’m referring to a difference in *access* that has something to do with the ability to be spontaneous. more on that later.

I think I might want to complicate the notion of consecration as a “containment mechanism.” I think I need to play with a few more metaphors to see where the battery ones fall down, and where the current ones fall down, and where the acupressure point correspondences don’t quite hit, and with my discomfort with the notion of working alongside a structurally enclosed initiatory degree system with no concern for the order in which the degrees are taken or experienced. This last has more to do with frame of reference than it does with “concern” concern, but I find it odd to my pre-established way of conceiving of degree systems.

Clearly, if you’ve been following this, you’ll see I took much better notes of the consecration than I did of the empowerments, partially because it was dark and I couldn’t write by the time I got off the mountain and in the car, and partially because the whole event spanned an afternoon and it’s hard to say where one part of it started and another stopped, and partially because I’m really not sure what got activated. Also, I was in a long dialogue with myself about just what would happen if I jumped off the mountain and tried to fly.

So. Here is what I think ref. the points. The first point was at the base of my skull. It seems rather clear that it was the point numbered 87, which corresponds to the medulla oblongata, “Sublime Prince of Masonry,” Bactriana (don’t ask me), Rii (you think my mental block about the *qabala* is bad, just try me on Enochian), and acupoints DU (back midline) 15 and DU16. DU16 is FengFu, “Palace of Wind” in the Zietz notes though I was never familiar with the poetic-ey names before this, and DU15 is just below it, aka Yamen, or “Gate of Muteness.” Amusingly, somewhere between the activation of this point and the points on the front of my neck, I became unable to speak.

At first I thought TAG activated four points on my neck (A and I had had some curiosity about relative finger positions at the moment of activation, as they were not always the same), but then I thought not, and by then I couldn’t really remember. Now, there are a veritable assload of acupoints on the front of the neck, and for that matter, a good number of points chauds on the front of the neck, too. By looking at Zietz’s stuff and recalling my own experiences playing pincushion in acupuncture treatment, I am speculating on this, from the perspective that we are going to treat the current system as sufficient for our purposes at the moment, rather than attempting to wildly speculate on “missing” points or the “rest” of the system.

A comparison, complete with crappy art, on my sketches/ideas of where the points in the region of the neck are and how they correspond to varying degrees with the acupoints. This is a preface to my attempting to answer the earlier comment about what the points are — the long answer is forthcoming, but the short answer is, I don’t know, and I’m actively engaged in work aimed at figuring it out.

Above are the front/neck points (labelled) on the meridians (red lines). You will note that the points in this system are symmetrical, in a sense, in terms of what they “do” or “activate” or effect.
These are my pre-empowerment sketches of the points based on the notes of others. These *seem* symmetrical but actually… aren’t.
Clearly, if you’ve been following this, you’ll see I took much better notes of the consecration than I did of the empowerments, partially because it was dark and I couldn’t write by the time I got off the mountain and in the car, and partially because the whole event spanned an afternoon and it’s hard to say where one part of it started and another stopped, and partially because I’m really not sure what got activated. Also, I was in a long dialogue with myself about just what would happen if I jumped off the mountain and tried to fly.

So. Here is what I think ref. the points. The first point was at the base of my skull. It seems rather clear that it was the point numbered 87, which corresponds to the medulla oblongata, “Sublime Prince of Masonry,” Bactriana (don’t ask me), Rii (you think my mental block about the *qabala* is bad, just try me on Enochian), and acupoints DU (back midline) 15 and DU16. DU16 is FengFu, “Palace of Wind” in the Zietz notes though I was never familiar with the poetic-ey names before this, and DU15 is just below it, aka Yamen, or “Gate of Muteness.” Amusingly, somewhere between the activation of this point and the points on the front of my neck, I became unable to speak.

At first I thought TAG activated four points on my neck (A and I had had some curiosity about relative finger positions at the moment of activation, as they were not always the same), but then I thought not, and by then I couldn’t really remember. Now, there are a veritable assload of acupoints on the front of the neck, and for that matter, a good number of points chauds on the front of the neck, too. By looking at Zietz’s stuff and recalling my own experiences playing pincushion in acupuncture treatment, I am speculating on this, from the perspective that we are going to treat the current system as sufficient for our purposes at the moment, rather than attempting to wildly speculate on “missing” points or the “rest” of the system.

Digression on the neck points
There’s only one acupoint in the center of the neck, which is where I walked (well, stumbled) away feeling most of the shit in, even though I do recall that the points TAG activated were on either side rather than in the center. Points 12 and 16 are upper neck and in Zietz’s notes I think something is awry, though I can’t say why I think that, with the current attributions.

Now, Zeitz attributes the points chauds to the acupoints as follows:

12. Master Architect — upper neck left 1 – India – Paz
San Jiao, or SJ on my picture, 16 (Tianyou – window of heaven). Now this point is really not far below the border of the earlobe, so it is pretty high up on the neck, my charming and quite misleading picture aside. Also attributed to Small Intestine (SI) 17 (Tianrong – heavenly appearance) which is really just up under the jaw it’s so high up.

13. Royal Arch of Solomon — neck left 2 — Bactriane (wtf) – Lit
SI 16 (Tianchuang – heavenly window), which is just about “center” in terms of height if not width of the neck; Large intestine (LI) 18 (Futu — support the prominence); Stomach (ST) 9 (Renying, Man’s welcome)

14. Perfect Elu — neck left 3 — Cilicia — Lit
points: same as above

15. Knight of the East or Sword — neck left 4 — Oxiana – Lit
points: same as above

16: Prince of Jerusalem – upper neck right 1 – Numidia – Maz
same as above

17. Knight of the East and West – neck right 2 – Cyprus – Maz
same as above

18. Knight Rose Croix – neck right 3 – Parthia – Maz
same as above

19. Grand Pontiff – neck right 4 – Getulia – Deo
same as above

Energy Experiments and Workings with Others

July 27, 2005
Subject: J.H.; Activity: energy field diagnostics; experimentation

I can almost blow somebody ELSE up using the same techniques I used in KFC this past weekend. At least it worked with somebody sort of energetically and magickally aware who was not apprised ahead of time of what I was doing, which may or may not be kind of shitty of me. I don’t know if it would work on somebody whose frame of reference didn’t allow for such things.

I can get the tingle back by myself, and I can generate a great deal of heat whick I can then direct, though somewhat clumsily, through my hands.

I got more of a sense of “magnetic resistance” or something while playing with this last night. Maybe it can be cultivated, or is still growing, or… dunno.

Sex!

comment by peristera

LOL – What poor soul did you nearly blow up?

reply by karmasue

The “poor soul” who I may have mentioned over the weekend at your house as being part of the “group” I was in in high school during the pre-Dracosanguis days but having some certain things in common with it. I guess after seventeen years this one can still take that sort of experimental abuse… kind of amazing lmao

comment by entheos93

Since I’m not a religious person, the first thing I want to know about any magickal tecnique is–what’s it good for? What are it’s potential uses?

reply by karmasue

Well, vast, complex, and dizzying (as well as somewhat sticky and amphibious) Bertiaux theory aside, the practical stuff is exactly what I’m trying to figure out. So far it appears to be very good for sex, charging talismans, healing, moving chi, staying awake and focused, impressing your friends, and getting telemarketers to hang up FAST.

Some of that sounds flippant but I’m actually not kidding. I have just, however, gotten the book to read about the theory, so I really am just taking stabs in the dark and doing my own experimentation at this point, alone and with others, so I can’t really say much yet about how Bertiaux envisions this stuff, though it seems to make pretty good comix.

reply by peristera

I really what you to give some details on your experiences with this – if not on LJ then email me. Is it the consecration or the points or can you tell? How are you drawing on it? How are you focusing it? How does it feel?

I want to compare some notes.

reply by karmasue

I just haven’t had a chance to type up anything else — I owe an assload of readings and am trying to get caught up on client stuff and get school shopping done now since I’m out of town right before school starts for NOTOCON. I’m taking notes, though. As far as consecration vs. points, I have NO idea, and I am not sure how I will ever be able to tell short of just comparing notes since I didn’t have much of a chance to see what “just” consecration was all about. I’m hardly having to draw on it at all, but then again I’m not doing all that much with it. It just happens, like the difference between building a fire with two sticks and using a zippo. I’m focusing it with my hands so far, that is working the best, but with willing guinea pigs I am playing around with that. It feels like chi on RedBull 🙂 Or Jolt cola, maybe…

July 29, 2005
Subject: J.L.; Activity: energy field diagnostics; experimentation;

Points chauds/energy work notes —

Subject (this sounds so clinical but I dont’ want to name names without permission) reported intense heat in hand, feeling of heaviness or weight, feeling of “fullness” of blood vessels. Blood vessels were noticeably different after app. 10 mins of work, more visible, more engorged, darker. Arm was on level surface. Greatest effect at hand and low on arm near wrist, weakest midway between palm and elbow, stronger “pull” again at elbow.

Note to A — this sort of freaks me out, what this description hints at ref. the blood vessels. More on this later.

H8 (Shao Fu)
Location: In the palmar surface, between the 4th and 5th metacarpal bones, just between the ring and small fingers when making a fist.

Indications: Palpitation, thoracalgia, pruritus vulvae, dysuresis, enuresis, elevated temperature in palm of hand.

PC8 (Lao Gong)

Location: In the middle of the palm, between the middle and the ring fingers, adjacent to the 3rd metacarpal bone.

PC7 (Da Ling)

Location: At midpoint of the transverse crease of wrist between the tendons of the palmaris longus and the flexor carpi radialis.

August 12, 2005
Subject: S.R.; Activity; energy diagnostics; experimentation; activation of two points

Ok, I have begun assembling a chronological record of my points experiences so far, and I am going to be going in and filling in stuff that needs filling in –sketches, notes, speculations, research, etc. I’ve added the May dream as well, and Allen, I’d like to paste in, and post on lj, your email comments, is that ok? So far I’m up to 17 pages, though, so this is a much bigger undertaking than I’d imagined when I said “Sure, Allen, I’ll get that done pretty soon” lol

Friday I got to NOTOCON all upset and nervous – late flight, didn’t know how to find anybody I knew, had missed Mass, didn’t have a lighter or matches, etc. I do NOT do well in large gatherings. I met a few lj people in brief and then ate in the bar with isomeme and his wife — having a drink (yes, I self-medicate) helped. At the gathering for the opening remarks, I saw Lacey, and then a few other Atl. folks, and started to relax. I kept looking for Allen and not seeing him, which at the time I thought was odd.

I cannot recall the order of things, or the location of all the rooms that people wandered variously to and fro with breaks to go out front and smoke, but somewhere in the course of the evening, after the bar closed and in the Major Party With Naked People Room, I picked up (in the sense that you get something stuck on you) a guy who asked later Saturday that I not take the flirting seriously and seemed a bit embarrassed by his Friday night, so I will just call him D. and not identify him. He had this vial of Abramelin oil and was anointing people’s hands with it. I was a little uncomfortable about the situation with him in general, mostly because his ex-girlfriend was there and decided that she needed me to help make him jealous by kissing her in front of him, which I thought was just kind of pathetic and it made me resentful and put my shields way way up. Also, he was a minor level muckety muck in the OTO and well, you know. They make me nervous lol.

Anyway, I was sitting there sort of amused while he anointed my right hand inside the room where the party was, and then he took my left hand, and I felt a “surge” that required me to close my eyes and lean against the wall for a minute. He asked me if I was ok and I said yes, but that sort of “turned it on” and probably had something to do with me opening up a little bit after that point, speaking up and paying a little more attention. Also it got my mind on the mojo, which was “on” then. (He did my middle fintertip, palm, and wrist, and with some nice EGC-esque blessing stuff, and why it lit me up when he did my left hand and not my right I don’t know, and remind me to post more later on ordination ponderings.) [more on this in a bit, too, the on/off switch or lack thereof]

At one point the ex-girlfriend and I were outside smoking, she having separated me from D, and I was vocalizing how uncomfortable it made me for her to try to get me in the middle of their shit. She was with S. [who is on this filter but I’ll let him identify himself – he may just want to read] and some guy whose name I’ve forgotten, and I had seen them at the bar earlier but not talked to them, and then, at some point, I realized S. was a long-time lj crush whom I’d friended because of his poetry and I got really embarrassed. Because I’m a dork.

Somehow, at some point, we’re in a different room now, whose I don’t know, with Allen and L. and a couple of neat folks from WBO, one of whom gave me a very nice spanking, though it was quite brief, and at this point I’m just glowing, or I feel like I am anyway lol, but I’m also kind of… well, still a bit on the defensive — or maybe even the *offensive*. I think I let L. be partially responsible for that, not important, except that my offensive mode tends to make me a bit vampy by default. And, this stuff could be out of order. At another point we’re in the same room, and S. is there with a couple of other people, and I start doing the hand/energy/manipulation/diagnostic/whatever thing that I’ve been trying out on everybody that will sit still for it for the past few weeks. I am very very surprised when *the shit does not work on S.* I mean, it’s like, cement, earthworks, rubber handles on jumper cables, whatever. I can NOT get the heat/pull/spark thing to build between our palms. I start to think I’m broken, lol, that for the first time I can’t just “tell” it to go to my hands and it does, and I’m especially surprised because I was feeling “it” more than usual. So I try it out on V. and it works just fine. Back to S. Nothing. Have him turn his hands over. That’s a little better, a little warmer, on the *backs* of his hands, but still not the same. I try his wrists, which on most people is where it really starts to weaken (that frame of reference may be backwards or just screwed, but more on that later). There’s something there, but not the same.

I remark on this to Allen. I do not recall if there was any actual conversation about this, but he suggested I activate points on S. (I may have this slightly out of order). I thought, whether I said it or not, “Are you sure?” and then he said something I may remember incorrectly and will let him fill in about two points. This never would have occurred to me in a million years to try. But I like a challenge, and I was really curious what would happen with this person who seemed to be wired weirdly. I rather shamefully admit that I cannot recall if I exactly asked S.’s permission to do this experiment but I seem to have had his consent, and I am pretty sure he could hear what we were saying. This is where ethical iffiness comes in for me with experimenting on people, since I don’t really know what I’m doing. So, I’m sitting there, with absolutely no idea of how to *do* this, and then I just *act.*

I straddle him and then decide he needs to be lying down, and I sort of push on his chest to get him there, and spend a few seconds focusing it in my hands. I “push” on him at points 22 and 23, not actually touching him at first, I don’t think, and I feel it *hard* and I know this is going to work. Oh yeah, Allen had warned me to watch out for the piercings so that upped the level of WTF for a moment. Something’s happening, and I push some more, and then I feel to see (yeah, the sense thing is getting hard to describe and separate lol) just where I need to… dig? That is not quite right, but, anyway, I “find” the points and I had the distinct impression that I “entered” them though in a very surface manner. I did not feel at any point that I was doing any damage, and honestly I’m not sure why I think that’s possible, but I seem to. I believe I did 22 first and then 23, though I was “pushing” on them simultaneously at first, and the “method” of this is not at all clear to me. On my end, the sensation was much milder than I would have expected, and not as draining as I expected, and it was less like “losing” energy and more like “connecting” it or being a conduit for it. I expected to feel a loss or drain. In retrospect, there was cloth between my fingers and the points on S.’s body, and I wonder if that has any impact on anything. At any rate, what I did feel at that point was that I did not want to let go of this, and right on the heels of that I told myself I had to, I got the impression that it would be a very very bad idea to maintain direct contact with the points past a certain point of “surge.”

S. said something about being hard to “access” energetically, though I’m sure I have the phrasing not quite right, and it wasn’t until later, outside, when I came up with the “wired backwards” metaphor, though I’m not sure that’s right.

This is all complicated by a few things — one is my extreme level of intoxication at this point, another is my sexual attraction to S., another is my default fear of myself in “offensive” mode b/c of my paranoia about energy vamping, another is the sheer heightened level of *whatever* that was kicking in a hotel room full of magickians, one of whom had just given me a spanking I had been wanting for a very, very long time lol.

So, finally:

If he cares to comment, I would like to hear S.’s version of this, as well as what Allen saw/heard/felt, AND,

what made Allen suggest this in the first place lol, or if I have any of this wrong.

finally, Karma needs more spankings. What is the point of having Big Hoodoo Mojo if you can’t get tied up and spanked when you want to? I tell you. Sigh.

For later:
post about on/off switches, idea of losing it if you don’t use it, idea of sets of points and completions of points and sense of urgency, idea of blood connection to this, if any, and idea of egregores within egregores. Also, post about dreams at Syntaxxis involving Allen c. early 1996.

comment by tausirhasirim

I’m all down with this, although dreams at Syntaxiss is like, scary, but I’m curious and like being that kind of scared, so go to. Of course feel free to post my off-line comments as appropriate.

Your narrative jibes with my – entirely sober – memory of the event, but I can add my subjective rationale. I was otherwise bewitched when I noticed that I was slipping in and out of Third Attention, in part my agoraphobia in a room that was charged with Orgone – near maxed out, in fact. Your – subject – seemed more than receptive, and you seemed to be inclined to try a preliminary experiment at giving the empowerments, as opposed to receiving them. I looked the guy up and down, was a little worried about the metal in his brow (as I told you) either “Earthing” your work or heating up in the mundane sense to the point of being painful.

Sequence here is real fuzzy to me. Comment on spanking….I was really near you, and was watching your face for a flinch, and you did not flinch even slightly. This is my turf; I could tell from the sound it was a pretty hard spanking, so I was impressed. I figured you were up for anything, and if I assessed correctly, the juju had risen through the chakras and I wanted to see what you could do with a difficult subject.

I expected, from his energy pattern, nothing more than the “Princess effect” I have told you about. But you definitely did the points as you describe on the second try. I was not able to do follow up, so I don’t know if they “took” long-term. He was resistant, as he said. I touched the piercing, no heat or “Earthed” energy. At the same time, I sensed no change in him. But the transfer happened, no doubt in my mind. I was very pleased.

Some people are “wired as a closed system” – some are “wired open”. He seemed closed, so all the more impressive.

The only “bad moment” for me in all this was I lost sight of you, and, recalling after-effects on Arabia, was a bit worried until you returned to that room.

I think this was an important step. All of my logical side said it was way too early, but my instinct said go with it, so I did-no regrets.

As for spanking. Right. Its your due wages.

Oh. One other thing. If you can have *any* success in the chaotic (albeit magical) environment, you are definitely on path.

comment by peristera

On the damage comment. . .I am with you on that – I guess it is that I have felt the full effects of this energy and know how intense it can get. Anything that is that intense can (IMNSHO) do damage. There are also the stories of people being highly damaged by the first round of experiments.
Bertiaux-inspired musings on Points Chauds, Vampirism, Blood, and Psycho-Sexual Energy

“The experienced time-and-universe traveller is able thusly to go anywhere, by making use of this rather simple system, because he would know from experience how to adjust the inflow of energies which are the fuels for his projections. These fuels for projection are very simply the kalas and shaktis, theojas and sexual radioactivities which power all our machines. The ojas (theojas or god-energies) and sexual radioactivities are especially sought after by vampiristic deities, also, and for this reason the magician must look carefully into the nature of the magical images used to power the symbols with their own magical force-fields. By using less-than-horrific spirit-Loas, the magician runs the risk of attracting very negative vampires who need the ojas of the mandala instruments to sustain themselves. These vampires must be carefully distinguished from the positive vampires of time and space-consciousness travel who assist the magician to move into other regions and who, manifested as were-spiders and zombi-Loa both guard the temple of sciences as well as provide certain esoteric energies, which while matching other energies in the magician, also produce the Cartesian vortices through which the voltigeurs of esoteric physics make contact with the points of other worlds. Thus, we can see the need to know the nature of the energies used behind the symbolics of voudoo mechanics.”

Pertinent Bits on the Points Chauds from Bertiaux
or Notes for Further Consideration

from “Gnostic Zoology: From Bio-Physics to the Ojas-Organisms” (p 327 if you have “the phonebook”)

“One of the basic assumptions of the magickal life-sciences is that if there are fields of force which are conscious, there are also living organisms, either of a physical or a metaphysical type, in existence and subject to magickal exploration. Technically speaking, all of gnostic physics is a form of biophysics, because we are examining consciousness-directed energy fields. But it is necessary also to move our explorations beyond the categories of physics, so that we can see the life-fields now as organic systems. These organisms are the externalizations of the Ojas system and are to be found in a variety of contexts. For the purposes of our magickal study, we can state that these organisms can be clsasified fundamentally as types of the four basic forms of Ojas.

[…]

Question: Is the magician made up of these organisms?
Answer: The magickal vehicle of the magician would certainly be composed of these organisms. However, this vehicle is generated by magickal processes and is not the same as the astral body or other karmic vehicles.

[…]

Q: Are these organisms ever inducted by magicko-radionic methods?
A: Yes. There exist special zoological initiations for this purpose. Such experiments give the magician an entry into the pure universes and hence extend his powers by menas [sic] of his becoming one with that archetypal realm.”
from “Bathos-Gnosis: The Kama-Ojas Field” (p 329)

“Question: What is this new energy called “Bathos-Gnosis”?
Answer: Actually, Bathos-Gnosis is quite an ancient idea. It refers to the making use of the deepest energies of a gnostic and magickal character. It refers to the powers of the deep as they are realized in the magickal sciences of the gnosis. It also refers to the magickal methods whereby students of the gnosis are inducted into the deepest and most powerful levels of the ultra-consciousness.

Q: What is the Kama-Ojas Field?
A: The Kamas-Ojas Field is the name for the magickal mechanism whereby the deep powers of the gnosis are fed into the candidate for magickal development…. This field draws its powers from sexo-magickal radioactivity and the deepest regions of cosmic lust, or magikcal libido. It is the basis for the physics of the ultra-unconscious…

Q: Are there methods whereby these energies are inducted into the candidate?
A: They are inducted by means of our psionic and radio-metapsychological machines, which pick up and transmit these energies at the “present time/broadcasting” range of operation. They may also be inducted my means of magickal explorations and also through the Yemethian system of initiation, of which there are 16 hot-points.

[…]

Q: How are candidates for magickal development inducted into the field?
A: They are simply given to it. They become data for its operations. They must not offer an [sic] resistance to this field. They must seek to enter this field totally and merge their total being with this field in order to realize the powers of the deep, which are the magickal energies implicit in the field of the gnosis. They must give themselves totally to this power. The surrender must be absolute.

[…]

Q: Are the Points-Chauds of this system entities or are they processes?
A: Both. Everything in this field is both an intelligent entity (beyond human levels of intelligence) and a dynamic process or energy. When the candidate is with the system, these points-chauds merge with his mind and psychic field. They do not when the same person is separate. They are like psychological complexes of the most creative sort, which being radiations of the archeytpes are sustained by the planetary energies in question. Hence, it would be possible to lose the powers if you withdrew from the gnostic continuum of the system.”

— Bertiaux, Michael. The Vodoun Gnostic Workbook. New York: Magickal Childe, Inc. 1988.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s